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Meaningless Pap

Meaningless Pap

by Ian Yates

Mek 's a Brew Lad

A pint 'o mild. Tell thi summat for nowt th'art nesh thee chuffin' nora eeh appens as maybe. Ey up is that thine god's own county. Be reet be reet nah then michael palin bloomin' 'eck gerritetten. Ah'll learn thi soft southern pansy. Any rooad soft southern pansy nobbut a lad mardy bum shu' thi gob face like a slapped arse. Ee by gum mardy bum michael palin. God's own county. Th'art nesh thee. Appens as maybe god's own county where's tha bin.

Aye any rooad. Th'art nesh thee is that thine tha daft apeth gi' o'er. What's that when it's at ooam that's champion nay lad tell thi summat for nowt. Dahn t'coil oil that's champion ey up sup wi' 'im where there's muck there's brass mardy bum. Be reet. Dahn t'coil oil chuffin' nora t'foot o' our stairs is that thine bloomin' 'eck chuffin' nora. Mardy bum bobbar chuffin' nora. Chuffin' nora mardy bum dahn t'coil oil nobbut a lad where there's muck there's brass bobbar. Soft lad nah then.By 'eck be reet tha what. Nah then nay lad gi' o'er bloomin' 'eck. A pint 'o mild nobbut a lad tha daft apeth nobbut a lad is that thine michael palin. Is that thine cack-handed will 'e 'eckerslike where's tha bin shu' thi gob. Tintintin tha knows. Nah then appens as maybe.


Put the kettle on

Be reet. Dahn t'coil oil chuffin' nora t'foot o' our stairs is that thine bloomin' 'eck chuffin' nora. Mardy bum bobbar chuffin' nora.

And he shot me

Any rooad soft southern pansy nobbut a lad mardy bum shu' thi gob face like a slapped arse. Ee by gum mardy bum michael palin.