Dave Matthews is the cure for most modern diseases

After much time spent slaving over laboratory investigations, I have discovered yet more news about the wonders of Dave Matthews. In 120% of trials, mere mention of the multi-platinum rock musician eradicated all traces of disease samples around mid-west UK. Of course this comes to no suprise. The 'DMB' are universally known for their guitar heavy, percussive and anti-bacterial grooves. It is also noted that many cases of apparently homeopathic effects eminate from concert venues around the world following DMB gigs. Of course, homeopathy is always bullshit. This particular phenonenom arise from the sheer multi-dimensional potency of the band, we have yet to discover all the plains of existance through which their sexy sax solos permeate. I beleive that when the scientific community accepts these results, a paradigm of musical healing will sweep the planet. I propse that current healthcare infrastructure is repurposed to aid the amplification of both Dave's studio albums, and the spotify live exclusives.

Notable songs and test results are listed:

• Shake me like a monkey - Appears to speed up reactions ten-fold, occasionally resisting entropy
• Squirm - When played at 300x has the effect of inducing rational though in inert matter
• You might die trying - Has been proven to act as a cost efficient rocket feul. Potentiol interstellar missions are now possible thanks to the unique combination of aurual waves during the trumpet parts.
• Crash - Induces feelings of intense pleasure throughout the facial muscles of the listner, useful as a potentiol anti-crowd device?